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Four Reasons Why You Don't Ride Better
These are the most frequent reasons why people stall out in their riding. Do any of them sound like you?
1. You're happy where you are.
For some riders, riding is simply something they do for enjoyment. They may take lessons, but, deep down, improving their riding isn't their goal. They just want to be around horses and people like themselves who like being around horses. So they may take lessons, but it is "a social thing" for them. And there's nothing wrong with that. Unless you and your instructor have different goals.
Most instructors want to see their students improve because (a) it's their job, and they like to see that they are doing a good job, and (b) the better their students ride, the more their clientele grows. So if a student doesn't seem to be taking their riding lessons seriously, some instructors end up feeling frustrated and angry.
Instructors with large clienteles will sometimes sort their students into those who want to learn and those who are there for social interactions. They focus their instructional guidance on those who want to learn, and simply praise and chat with with those who are looking for social contact.
For some riders, riding is simply something they do for enjoyment. They may take lessons, but, deep down, improving their riding isn't their goal. They just want to be around horses and people like themselves who like being around horses. So they may take lessons, but it is "a social thing" for them. And there's nothing wrong with that. Unless you and your instructor have different goals.
Most instructors want to see their students improve because (a) it's their job, and they like to see that they are doing a good job, and (b) the better their students ride, the more their clientele grows. So if a student doesn't seem to be taking their riding lessons seriously, some instructors end up feeling frustrated and angry.
Instructors with large clienteles will sometimes sort their students into those who want to learn and those who are there for social interactions. They focus their instructional guidance on those who want to learn, and simply praise and chat with with those who are looking for social contact.
When people stall out in their riding, it is usually due to one of four key issues.
2. You're afraid to change the way you ride.
When you think about it, it's kind of a miracle that puny humans will climb up on the backs of prey animals that are much larger, stronger, faster, and 10 times heavier than themselves. What could possibly go wrong? Yet things go wrong quite infrequently. The vast majority of riding experiences are enjoyable or at least just ho-hum.
But that doesn't mean that people don't feel anxious up there on their horses' backs. Once they develop a way of riding that makes them feel relatively secure, they are loathe to change anything. After all, they've been riding this way for a while and nothing bad has happened. So if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
But there they are taking a lesson, and the instructor is trying to get them to change the way they sit, the way they hold the reins, the tempo at which they ride, and so on. This sets off alarm bells inside their heads because everything suddenly feels very insecure and very unfamiliar. So three scenarios typically unfold. Some students will grit their teeth and do as they are instructed while hoping for the best. Some will try to cheat a little by seeming to do as instructed but keeping things as close to "normal" as possible. And some will fight with their instructors, insisting that what they're being asked to do is impossible, unsafe, or wrong.
One example from my own experience comes to mind. A boarder put a half-lease on her hunter gelding on the condition that the girl leasing the horse took lessons from me. The girl's riding position consisted of gripping ferociously with her knees and balancing herself on the horse's mouth. The four lessons she took with me consisted primarily of my coaxing her to soften her legs and her grip. We spent a good deal of time on longe to accomplish this. But she fought me constantly, insisting that her sainted riding instructor back home (she was a freshman attending college) taught her to ride this way and always complimented her. (Yep, see #1 above.) The problem is that the sweet tempered, always-sound hunter began showing back soreness, rein lameness (lameness in the shoulders due to too much pressure being applied to the bars of the mouth for too long), and uncooperativeness. The horse's owner watched the last lesson, and together, we agreed that the rider was not a good fit for either the horse or the instructor.
When you think about it, it's kind of a miracle that puny humans will climb up on the backs of prey animals that are much larger, stronger, faster, and 10 times heavier than themselves. What could possibly go wrong? Yet things go wrong quite infrequently. The vast majority of riding experiences are enjoyable or at least just ho-hum.
But that doesn't mean that people don't feel anxious up there on their horses' backs. Once they develop a way of riding that makes them feel relatively secure, they are loathe to change anything. After all, they've been riding this way for a while and nothing bad has happened. So if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
But there they are taking a lesson, and the instructor is trying to get them to change the way they sit, the way they hold the reins, the tempo at which they ride, and so on. This sets off alarm bells inside their heads because everything suddenly feels very insecure and very unfamiliar. So three scenarios typically unfold. Some students will grit their teeth and do as they are instructed while hoping for the best. Some will try to cheat a little by seeming to do as instructed but keeping things as close to "normal" as possible. And some will fight with their instructors, insisting that what they're being asked to do is impossible, unsafe, or wrong.
One example from my own experience comes to mind. A boarder put a half-lease on her hunter gelding on the condition that the girl leasing the horse took lessons from me. The girl's riding position consisted of gripping ferociously with her knees and balancing herself on the horse's mouth. The four lessons she took with me consisted primarily of my coaxing her to soften her legs and her grip. We spent a good deal of time on longe to accomplish this. But she fought me constantly, insisting that her sainted riding instructor back home (she was a freshman attending college) taught her to ride this way and always complimented her. (Yep, see #1 above.) The problem is that the sweet tempered, always-sound hunter began showing back soreness, rein lameness (lameness in the shoulders due to too much pressure being applied to the bars of the mouth for too long), and uncooperativeness. The horse's owner watched the last lesson, and together, we agreed that the rider was not a good fit for either the horse or the instructor.
3. Your instructor is threatened by you.
Some instructors compete with their students and feel incredibly threatened when a student appears to be more talented than they are. They will especially feel threatened if the student begins getting higher scores or winning more ribbons than themselves. This not only constitutes a threat to their ego, it constitutes a potential threat to their income because the student may decide there is nothing more the instructor can teach her. So they will deploy subtle or not-so-subtle tactics to undermine the student's progress and her confidence in her riding.
Some instructors compete with their students and feel incredibly threatened when a student appears to be more talented than they are. They will especially feel threatened if the student begins getting higher scores or winning more ribbons than themselves. This not only constitutes a threat to their ego, it constitutes a potential threat to their income because the student may decide there is nothing more the instructor can teach her. So they will deploy subtle or not-so-subtle tactics to undermine the student's progress and her confidence in her riding.
The rational part of this fear is that many people assume that good instructors must be good riders and vice versa, which is true less often than commonly believed. (You can read more about that here.) As an instructor, you should want your students to achieve the highest level of riding they are capable of, even if that means they surpass you.
The irrational part of the fear is the ego-threat part. The horse world is filled with people who are looking to impress and dominate others. When they see someone who rides better, they immediately label that person a threat that must be neutralized by any means possible. The favored techniques are "trash talking" before lessons or competitions, ridicule after lessons or competitions, and spreading nasty gossip that about their rival in an attempt to isolate her socially. It is bad enough when riders do this to each other, but it is truly awful when an instructor does it to students whose talent and accomplishments threaten their egos.
The irrational part of the fear is the ego-threat part. The horse world is filled with people who are looking to impress and dominate others. When they see someone who rides better, they immediately label that person a threat that must be neutralized by any means possible. The favored techniques are "trash talking" before lessons or competitions, ridicule after lessons or competitions, and spreading nasty gossip that about their rival in an attempt to isolate her socially. It is bad enough when riders do this to each other, but it is truly awful when an instructor does it to students whose talent and accomplishments threaten their egos.
4. You are over-mounted.
In this very funny animation, we encounter a stereotypical "dressage queen". The queen wants to take dressage lessons, but absolutely refuses to ride a school master who is quiet, cooperative—and only costs $2,000. She wants a "real dressage horse" that costs tens of thousands of dollars and is competing at upper levels. Of course, the trainer knows she won't be able to ride that kind of horse. The horse is accustomed to expert riders and will become frustrated and possibly dangerous when this inexperienced human on his back wiggles and wobbles and grips and kicks and basically annoys the heck out of him.
In this very funny animation, we encounter a stereotypical "dressage queen". The queen wants to take dressage lessons, but absolutely refuses to ride a school master who is quiet, cooperative—and only costs $2,000. She wants a "real dressage horse" that costs tens of thousands of dollars and is competing at upper levels. Of course, the trainer knows she won't be able to ride that kind of horse. The horse is accustomed to expert riders and will become frustrated and possibly dangerous when this inexperienced human on his back wiggles and wobbles and grips and kicks and basically annoys the heck out of him.
My Story
When I was a training level rider, my Prix St. Georges level instructor allowed me to mount her horse so that I could see what her custom designed saddle felt like. But not before warning me, "When you're up there, don't move." I didn't understand what she meant until the horse began moving his haunches this way and that and bending his ribs this way and that while I (to my mind) was just sitting quietly. "You don't realize how noisy your legs and seat are at this point in your training," she explained, "and my horse is interpreting all those subtle movements as dressage aids. At the level I'm riding, that's how subtle the aids are." It was an eye-opener for me.
When it comes to buying a horse, be careful what you wish for!
Many riders across all disciplines walk into lessons with the dressage queen kind of mind set. They want to ride the big flashy horses. They want to buy big flashy horses. They want the big movers. And then they find they are afraid to ride them. So they're always finding excuses for not riding—they're coming down with the flue, they're recovering from the flu, their horse is lame, they're lame, the horse is overdue to be shod. And on and on and on. Anything other than admit the truth: they're scared—probably with good reason.
Dealing with Toxic Fear
If you are afraid of your horse because she's too big or her movement is too big or her temperament is too reactive or whatever, you will not progress in your riding. You will spend all of your effort trying to hold your horse back and "keep him under control" in a vain attempt to manage your fear. Believe it or not, your fear will simply add to your horse's fear and eventually his lack of confidence, or it will turn your horse into a bully who knows he can intimidate his rider. (You can read more about horses and emotional contagion here and here. You can read about how to get your horse to trust and respect you here.) For this reason, it is crucial that you choose a horse that makes you feel safe and in control. All horses act out now and again, but you should feel that you are your horse are matched in temperament and skill. Otherwise, riding will just become an exercise in managing anxiety.
Happy riding!
Copyright Denise Cummins, PhD June 2, 2016; updated June 21, 2018; updated May 29, 2024
The Thinking Equestrian
As long as you’re here, check these out!
Equestrian Products That Make Your Riding and Horse Care Easier and Better!
Opening Photo Credit © Gpagomenos | Dreamstime.com - Young woman on a horse
When I was a training level rider, my Prix St. Georges level instructor allowed me to mount her horse so that I could see what her custom designed saddle felt like. But not before warning me, "When you're up there, don't move." I didn't understand what she meant until the horse began moving his haunches this way and that and bending his ribs this way and that while I (to my mind) was just sitting quietly. "You don't realize how noisy your legs and seat are at this point in your training," she explained, "and my horse is interpreting all those subtle movements as dressage aids. At the level I'm riding, that's how subtle the aids are." It was an eye-opener for me.
When it comes to buying a horse, be careful what you wish for!
Many riders across all disciplines walk into lessons with the dressage queen kind of mind set. They want to ride the big flashy horses. They want to buy big flashy horses. They want the big movers. And then they find they are afraid to ride them. So they're always finding excuses for not riding—they're coming down with the flue, they're recovering from the flu, their horse is lame, they're lame, the horse is overdue to be shod. And on and on and on. Anything other than admit the truth: they're scared—probably with good reason.
Dealing with Toxic Fear
If you are afraid of your horse because she's too big or her movement is too big or her temperament is too reactive or whatever, you will not progress in your riding. You will spend all of your effort trying to hold your horse back and "keep him under control" in a vain attempt to manage your fear. Believe it or not, your fear will simply add to your horse's fear and eventually his lack of confidence, or it will turn your horse into a bully who knows he can intimidate his rider. (You can read more about horses and emotional contagion here and here. You can read about how to get your horse to trust and respect you here.) For this reason, it is crucial that you choose a horse that makes you feel safe and in control. All horses act out now and again, but you should feel that you are your horse are matched in temperament and skill. Otherwise, riding will just become an exercise in managing anxiety.
Happy riding!
Copyright Denise Cummins, PhD June 2, 2016; updated June 21, 2018; updated May 29, 2024
The Thinking Equestrian
As long as you’re here, check these out!
Equestrian Products That Make Your Riding and Horse Care Easier and Better!
Opening Photo Credit © Gpagomenos | Dreamstime.com - Young woman on a horse
